Home Sweet Home

So I've just been trucking along in my own little world lately, with Mitch being gone since the 10th, where the kids and I eat whatever for dinner and sometimes it's just cereal and sometimes it's a real meal and sometimes it's just whoever wants whatever they want.  I mean, every night it's something: baseball, softball, Brownies, Scouts, birthday, whatever.  Needless to say, the house is a disaster.  I KNOW there's a for sale sign in the yard, but let's face it: no one has been through this house since the middle of April. 

Oh, until tomorrow that is.  And today Jacob has a doctor's appointment at 4:00 and both kids have games tonight. 

It's okay, I didn't want to sleep tonight anyway.

The thing is, at this point, I don't even think it matters anymore.  We are at the decision making point, where the house hasn't sold and we're waiting to hear from Mitch's company as to what if anything they are willing to do so we can move or whether we just scrap the whole idea of relocating.  Do I think the people looking tomorrow will buy the house by the end of the week?  No.  All this is doing is making me have to miss quality television time so I can clean - which, granted NEEDS to be done - but still just makes me bitter.  And, it's still going to be brutally hot tomorrow so what I'm going to do with the dog is anyone's guess.

I know my attitude sucks, but really, I just want all this to be over.  One way or the other.  Either we're going or we're not.  Either the house is for sale or it's not.  Either the kids go back to their school next year or they don't.  Either I still have this job or I don't.  This constant state of not knowing is taking a toll on me.  And Mitch too.  Next Tuesday we're supposed to fly to Utah to find a place to live, and at this moment in time, we don't know how we'd afford a place to live, what price range we're looking at or even if we're going.   I had hoped this would all be settled by now.  I hate that it's coming right down to the wire. 

And wouldn't the joke be if we say "Okay look, the house hasn't sold and you can't do anything to help us, so we can't go" and then next week these buyers tomorrow come back and make an offer? 

I have said for a while now that it will happen when it's supposed to happen.  That there's a plan and I just need to be patient and wait for it all to come in due time.  But maybe the fact that nothing is happening is my sign.  That it's not happening because it's not supposed to be happening.  Maybe we're supposed to stay here for a while yet.  (Good God, I hope not forever.)  I just wish I could fast-forward and see how this all turns out.  The not knowing is killing me.