Don't Sleep On It

Hey guys! Remember when I had a blog and I would sometimes write things and you would read them and I'd promise to write more but then I never did?

Yeah, good times.

Kind of like now, ironically.  There are just never enough hours in the day, it seems. 

Unless you wake up out of that half-sleep you get right before you fall asleep for good and remember something you forgot to do so you jump out of bed and do it and then you're wide awake. Then there are too many hours in the night.

If you know me well, you know that there are times that I struggle with sleep. I won't say insomnia, because that's a whole bigger thing and I most definitely DON'T have that. There are just nights when, for whatever reason - too much soda at dinner, too many worries about things, a nap during the day - there are nights when I'm awake long after midnight.

I'll fall asleep soon enough and still need to be up to get Sara to school and I'll be kind of tired all day, but it won't be that bad. And tomorrow night, I'll sleep well. There's that to look forward to.

It Should Have Been Easy

Yesterday, there was an unfortunate incident at Jacob's football game. No, not the loss, because sadly, we're kind of getting used to that. 

After a play, when a boy came off the field, one of our "coaches" was in this kid's face, hitting him in the chest and screaming repeatedly "What the hell were you thinking?!"  When later confronted by a parent about his behavior, this "coach's" answer was "This isn't tennis,"

This isn't a post about the coach's behavior.  Or about how if any parent with a video camera had captured this incident and posted it to YouTube that this guy's life would be forever changed.  It's not a post about how certain larger men with loud voices seem to believe they can do whatever they want without reprisal.  It's not a post about at what age are these boys not "kids", but "men".  It's not even a post about the differences between tennis and football, which I could undoubtedly explain until you all want to stab yourselves in the eye.

This is a post about being the person you thought you would be.

Because while this incident was happening, no one stood up and stopped it.  Not any of the parents on the sidelines. Not one of the other coaches.  No one.

And most importantly, not me.

There's an argument that could be made that the entire incident took place in the span of about 30 seconds.   There's also the argument to be made that I was so incredibly shocked by this behavior that by the time I gathered myself, it was already over.

But those are not acceptable excuses.  In those 30 seconds, this much larger man could have seriously injured this kid physically.  I'd wager that in those 30 seconds, this larger, older, supposedly wiser man probably did injure this kid emotionally. 

And I did nothing.

I always thought I'd be the kind of person that would step in a help a kid.  Yesterday, I was not that person.  And it makes me sick to my stomach to know that.  It's easy to imagine these situations and visualizing yourself doing the right thing.  But when it's happening in real time, as I found out yesterday, you can't slow it down and think of the perfect thing to say.  Sometimes all you do is sit staring, shocking and appalled.

I heard another parent say "It's not my place to step in. If it was my kid, I would have, but that's not my kid,"

I myself said to the parent next to me, "If that was my kid, we'd be on our way home right now,"

Only one parent said anything.  I honestly don't know if it was that boy's mother or not.  But she was the only one.

So what if that wasn't my kid?  In two weeks, both Mitch and I have to work and we'll have to ask another parent to take Jacob to the game.  We won't be there to see him play.  And if this coach did this to my kid, we wouldn't be there to stop it.  Can I count on another player's parents to step in?  When I didn't do the same thing?  Am I comfortable letting Jacob play in the game knowing this?  Right now, the answer is no. 

Yesterday, I was saddened and shocked by the behavior of a grown man taking an 8th grade football game too seriously.  But most importantly, I was saddened and shocked by my own behavior. 

Today, I vow to be more like the mom that stood up and said something. 

Because I can't change what happened yesterday, but I think what happened yesterday changed me.

One Summer

Where am I?  Where have I been?  What have I been doing?

We went to Hayward, Wisconsin for our yearly fishing vacation with Grandma and Grandpa.  Much fun was had by all - with the possible exception of Grandma, who was feeling poorly due to a lingering case of shingles.  But I think she had fun, what she remembers of it anyway!

While we were gone, our house did not burn down, which is of course, awesome. 

We met Shea, our newest cousin and nephew.  A little ball of cute, that one is.  Unfortunately, Dan and Kim were keeping too close an eye on him for Sara and I to sneak him in the back the truck and bring him home.  First time parents - psssh.  All attentive and whatnot.

Both kids attended Scout camp.  Both had a great time.  Only one came home bruised and broken. 

Sara visited with her neurologist and all is well. 

Baseball and softball is over and this week brings football tryouts.  No rest for the wicked, I say. 

We got a new washer and dryer.  Our old ones had been purchased in Virginia Beach when we got married 18 years ago.  So I guess I can't really complain. 

I painted the ceilings in two of the bathrooms this week.  If I ever meet the policy writer that said just to paint every wall and ceiling of a bank owned home one single color, I will punch them in the throat.  Painting ceilings is brutal.  Once that's done, we're down to selecting wall colors.  Which I'm terrible at.  Sara's current bedroom colors choices are neon orange and lime green.  (We'll work on that.)  Jacob, of course, is leaning toward dark blue and orange.  You can take the boy out of Detroit, but apparently, you can't take the Tigers out of the boy.

I've won 3 books on Goodreads.com giveaways.  Seriously.  Two were advance releases, which pleases my book-loving soul in a way I can't describe. 

Somewhere in all of that, Mitch and I continue to keep our jobs.

Time After Time

I spend a ridiculous amount of time doing things that are irritating.

Like trying to remember passwords to various websites.  And yes, I have a master list, but for some reason, things like my Yahoo Calendar and this blog aren't on there.  But no, I'm not getting up right now to update the list while I'm thinking about it.  That seems like a big job.

I finally switched out of my ginormous orange and white purse that I love because the amount of time I spent looking for my keys every day was staggering.  STAGGERING.  And my iPod was constantly lost in there.  And my gum.  And a pen.

Letting the dog in and out of the house seems overwhelming.  I bet if we didn't have this dog, I'd have at least 2 hours a day with nothing to do.  Related to this dog - I can't even begin to count the amount of time I spend looking for my shoes.  Because she separates them from each other and moves them all over the house.  One in the kitchen under the table, one on the stairs.  Or one in the living room and one by the back door.  Seriously. 

At least school is out for the summer, so I've freed up a lot of time that is usually spent looking for a pen to sign yet another school form.  I wish there was a form I could sign at the beginning of each school year that said "Yes, I agree to whatever you plan to teach/wherever you plan to go/whatever you plan to serve my kid to eat while in your class this year."  I'd sign that form with a little :) at the end too.  I might even go back to spelling my name with an "i" and put a heart as the dot too, that's how happy a form like that would make me.

Let's not discuss that time I spend looking for my phone.  Especially when I realize I've been looking for it while I'm talking on it. 

Jacob turns 13 today!

Some photos of him through the years:

(It's Not Me) Talking

So here's a conversation we have quite often at our house these days:

Me:  (tells Jacob to do something)
Jacob:  blah blah blah you're horrible parents blah blah blah
Me:  Jacob, stop talking.  You're going to get in trouble.
Jacob:  blah blah blah Sara never has to blah blah blah I always have to blah blah blah
Me:  Jacob, stop talking.
Jacob:  blah blah blah not fair blah blah blah
Me:  Stop talking.
Jacob:  blah blah blah you always blah blah blah
Me:  Enough.  Go to your room. 
Jacob: WHAT? WHAT DID I DO? DAD!
Mitch:  Jake, she told you 3 times to stop talking.  If you would have stopped talking the first time and just done what you were told, this wouldn't happen EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Tonight's argument was whether or not he could eat popsicles for dinner instead of waiting the 20 minutes it was going to take me to get home from Sara's softball game and boil water for tortellini.  (The answer is clearly NO YOU MAY NOT EAT POPSICLES FOR DINNER and the fact that I have to even say that irritates me more than you know.)  Which just goes to prove that sometimes, the child will argue just for the sake of arguing as opposed to feeling strongly he is in the right.  Because really?  When have I ever allowed popsicles for dinner?

Which is why I was trying to give him away on Facebook. 

I can't believe I didn't get any takers. 

Every Grain of Sand

I had a conversation with my friend Jenni yesterday and while I adore and cherish everything she says, one thing stuck with me.  I don't remember the exact words, but the basic premise was this: 

We're much happier when we don't know every detail of what goes on in our kids' schools.

What?

I know that sounds a lot like I want to be an ostrich, sticking my head in the sand.  But that's not it at all.  Don't get me wrong - I still want to know who my kids' friends are, who they eat lunch with, how they did on the last math test.  But now that I have a middle schooler, I find that I don't want to know as much.  I don't want to know if the fund-raising money isn't going to what we were told it was going for.  I don't want to know what ridiculous policy the school administration is considering implementing.  I don't want to know how the school runs and whether or not the people who run it actually care about kids and their families or just about wielding power over those around them.  I don't want to hear the gossip.

It's enough for me that I get a weekly e-mail telling what assignments my kid failed to turn it - surprisingly, more than you might expect if you know Jacob - and what his grades are.  Of course, I can log into the district website and check their grades at any time.  And I'm happy with that. 

I have exchanged e-mails with a few of his teachers.  And honestly, one of those exchanges ended with me replying with "I still don't understand what's going on, but I'm going to assume you and Jacob do and that you'll both work this out,"  And you know what?  They did.  Without me. 

I loved the teachers my kids had in Michigan.  LOVED THEM, every one.  And I can say that because I knew them.  I spent time in the classrooms, I enjoyed chatting with them during pick up times and lunch parent duty.  I felt I could talk to them about my kids at any time.  But the flip side is that I knew what wasn't working well at the school.   I knew that it was often not about what was fair for the kids, but more about rewarding parents.  That was inordinately stressful for me.

Now, Jacob gets on a bus every morning and goes to school.  I met most of his teachers at 1st semester conferences.  I didn't go to 2nd semester conferences.  (Teachers told the kids that if you're getting a B or above in the class, tell your parents not to come.)  He gets on a bus and comes home.  I sign forms that for some reason he only brings me at 7 AM.  I say "What do you have for homework?" and he tells me and he does it.  Not doing it will result in remediation during TEAL time, instead of watching a movie in the auditorium with his friends. 

It's all part of my kids getting older and being more responsible for themselves. A concept I whole-heartedly support.  Sometimes I feel that the personal involvment I had in their school when they were younger really burned me.  And burned me out.  I don't have the personal relationships with other parents here that I had there.  I sometimes miss that, but I'll tell you something:  it really cuts down on the pressures and expectations to be the most involved parent, the most helpful parent, the best lunch parent, the principal's buddy. 

Those things don't matter to me.  They never should have.  It's easier to love your kid's school if you only concern yourself with what involves you and your kid.   I'm letting the school do their job and it's been a relief. 

All that to say:  Ignorance really is bliss.  Stick your head in the sand.

Ten on Tuesday

10 Things on My DVR

1. Zombieland (of course)
2. The Lovely Bones
3. The Big Bang Theory - the episode where Sheldon gives Amy a tiara - cracks me up!
4. The King's Speech
5. 2012 Austalian Open Tennis - Men's Final
6. Bad Teacher
7. 34 X-Files Episodes
8. 3 Awake Episodes
9. Friends with Benefits
10. Alcatraz

Arizona

We had a great time in Arizona.  My stepmother was getting through a bout of bronchitis, but luckily she was well on the mend by the time we left.  On the first night we were there, my sister Katy decided to bash her face into the dashboard of her friend's car.  She's kinda weird like that.  (Or the driver may have hit a post in a parking lot, that sounds more accurate.)  So we gave her an appropriate amount of sympathy and then took pictures of her banged up face to post on Facebook.  As we do.

Dave won the Hank's Open trophy this year - apparently it was quite a close race.  Sara walked away with the kid's Wii bowling overall championship, but oddly enough, Jacob, Jackson and Madison all also trophied in their respective age groups.  Jackson gave quite a wonderful runner-up speech.  Watch out, Sara, because he's coming back next year!  My dad wrested the farkle - or farkel if you prefer - trophy away from a gracious(ish) Tory.  Perhaps next year, we'll all understand why the farkel trophy featured cards.  Probably not though.  Money changed hands.  As we do.

What else?

We missed Dan and Amanda and Adam and Jim.  We met Harrison.  Everyone had a job.  Except for me, but I still found a way to keep busy.  The kids made $16 in tips, and I don't even know how much they conned out of Uncle Ron.  We learned a new card game, 313 (or something, I'm not sure), that the kids and I are still playing here.  We hiked a mountain, or a hill, depending on your perspective.  No fossils, but we did find some cool rocks.  I drove on Canal Road.  It was hot.  Jacob and Katy built a fire and we had smores.  Everyone wore pink.  As we do.

Then I drove 12 hours home.  There were only 2 times when I considered putting the kids out of the car and driving away.  But I didn't, because that would be wrong.  Though if you're a parent that's taken a long road trip with kids, I know you know how I felt.   (I find that saying to myself over and over again "Children are a gift from God," helps get me through those rough moments.  Now that we're past the age where I can slip them a little Benadryl anyhow.)

So, you know, just the usual 4 days with the family. 

Ten on Tuesday

Is this still a thing I'm doing?  Sure, why not?

Ten (Plus A Couple More) People I Look Forward to Seeing at the Hank Open This Weekend

1. Dad
2. Nancy
3. Katy
4. Dave
5. Christine
6. Jackson
7. Madison
8. Harrison
9. Aunt Mart
10. Uncle Ron
11. Tory
12. Mary

I will greatly miss Dan, Amanda and Adam. 

One More Shot

Checkup day for Sara.  The doctor checked out one of her toes that she's been complaining about.  He thinks she might have broken it at some point and that's why it's still giving her pain.  But as we all know, there's really nothing that can be done for a broken toe, other than to tape it to the adjacent toe and stay off it.  Perhaps not surprisingly, she decided she can live with whatever "pain" she's having instead of having to give up gymnastics for a few weeks.  I'm mostly skeptical of this broken toe story, since it really only seems to bother her at times that would be to her advantage.  Like when Jacob won't scoot over on the couch.  Or when she should be vacuuming. 

We were given the option of having the Gardasil shot, which I suppose I should have known was coming, but totally didn't.  I chose not to have them give her that right now.  The simple reason is that I only know there is a lot of talk about this shot and I don't know enough about it to decide if I want her to have it or not.  I'm not anti-vaccine or anything like that at all.  And most of the time, if a doctor tells me we need to do something, I go along with it.  I watched a lot of  "ER" back in the day, but still don't consider myself a doctor of any kind.  So I suppose I'll be doing some reading about Gardasil.  What are the schools of thought on this?  What would be reasons not to have her have it?  Feel free to leave a comment if you're more informed than I, which you probably are.

And so as not to look like a parent who doesn't know what to do when faced with vaccination decisions, I let them give her the ones she'll need for middle school today as opposed to waiting until next year.  She'll be very unhappy trying to do back handsprings tonight after having a tetanus booster in her arm this afternoon.

Things to Make & Do

One week to the Hank Open.  The kids and I are really looking forward to it again this year.  We're going to miss Uncle Dan, but excited to finally meet cousin Huck!  I'm really taking it right to the wire to see him before he turns one. 

Mitch left for Qatar last weekend.  We've talked to him a couple of times via Skype.  The time difference makes it difficult for us to catch each other.  The fact that the kids and I are always running from one thing to the next doesn't make it any easier.  He should be home the first week of April.

This has been such a strange winter, I hardly know what's coming next.  We had almost no snow all winter and since Mitch left, I think it's snowed every day.  No really accumulation, but last night we lost power for about half an hour during the storm.  I tried to use the "there's no power, and it's 9:00, why don't we all just go to bed?" but of course, no one bought that.  It never hurts to try though. 

My recipe project has kind of been put on hold while Mitch is gone.  I haven't cooked at all since he left, actually, as is usual for me when he's out of town.  At the most, I expect to try a few dessert recipes.  There's always time to make dessert!

Of course, I DO have many boxes of Girl Scout cookies I can eat when that sweet tooth rears its ugly head...

Fresh is the Word

My new recipe project is going like gang-busters!  It's been fun too, which is nice.  We've only had one total flop, according to Mitch and I.  I think the kids feel there were a couple they would gladly never have again, but alas, until they start cooking, it's not up to them. 

I also would like to note that I used "gang-busters" and "alas" in the same paragraph.  I think I would have done better in an earlier generation.

In more food related news, we had our first delivery from Winder Farms, a local online grocer.  Today's delivery included chocolate milk (in a glass bottle no less!  Earlier generation thing AGAIN!), bacon, eggs, sausage, a produce box, orange juice, milk, bread, frozen mac & cheese, and other things I'm forgetting.  They have tons of different products you can order, frozen and fresh.  I'd be interested to see if the delivery guy wears a white suit and little white hat.  I suspect he doesn't.  But seeing as the delivery comes at 5 AM, there's no chance I'm ever going to find out. 

Do I need this?  No, but it's all food we would eat anyway.  And while I have a "standard" order, I can change the order every week, or cancel a delivery if we're out of town or something.  And apparently, if you set up your truck and offer me two free bottles of egg nog, you can talk me into just about anything. 

Someone be in charge of reminding me to put the cooler on the porch every Tuesday night, okay?

And The Address

So we've been in our new house almost 4 months now and I have to say, nothing irritates me more than those companies who haven't changed our address yet.

For those you who haven't had the pleasure of moving recently, let me tell you:  filling out that little card at the Post Office to forward your mail makes the process infinitely easier.  And to be fair, you don't even have to GO to the Post Office to do this anymore.  For $1, you can do it online.

And I'm not real clear on how this all works, but the way I understand it, you fill out the request, your mail comes to your new address and the post office notifies the sender of your new address.  You don't have to do anything!  You don't have to fill out the back of the bill saying you've moved, which is damn handy considering that I pay all my bills online, along with the rest of the civilized world.  And shortly enough, your Chase bill and your Shell bill and your People magazine shows up at the your new address without that yellow sticker on them and without any real effort on your part.

But there remains 3 companies who haven't gotten on board with this, and let me tell you, it makes me crazy.  Especially because all three of those companies bill or work with us under Mitch's name, which means I cannot call and change our address. 

Even more irritating is the fact that one of these companies holds an account in my name alone, in addition to another account we have.  The other account is apparently the primary account, so when I called today to change the address, I wasn't allowed.  Even for the account in my name alone. 

But.......but they will send  a form to Mitch to authorize me on the account and where would I like this form sent?

Really?  I would like it sent to my new address that I can't change until they send the form to my new address.

Ironic, isn't it?

Further proof that big companies have policies that make no sense, even in the advanced technological age of 2012.

Happy New Year

Welcome to the New Year!

I'd like to tell you that one of my New Year's Resolutions is to post more.  But you should know that I don't make New Year's Resolutions.

What I do instead is start ANOTHER blog.

I know.  Shut up.

But I've started a new blog, Reading the Recipe.  You can find a link here on the right sidebar.  It's my effort to expand what we eat around here.  You know you need to expand your menu when your 12-year-old answers the question "What do you want for dinner?" with "Anything but pizza or tacos,"

So what I'm doing is making a concerted effort to try new recipes.  I'm not setting a number goal or anything, but I would like to make at least 2 a week.   I feel like I can easily obtain this if I use my crockpot for one of those.

Regarding the rest of our lives:  I got a new job, the holidays were great, we got a cat, there's talk of adding a turtle, we went to Las Vegas for New Year's, and we're looking forward to seeing Mitch's brother's family in February.

Gosh, when I do it like that, posting seems a lot less daunting.