Under Heavy Manners

Mitch and I have always taken a “divide and conquer” approach to parenting. That is a nice way of saying what I generally say, which is that “Mitch wants to raise decent human beings; I just want it to be quiet.” Clearly this approach has some consequences, as I’ve noticed over the last several weeks that my kids’ have the table manners of small, clothed savages. This is wholly unacceptable and I aim to fix this immediately. I am searching Amazon RIGHT NOW for books on table manners for kids. But I keep getting sidetracked by books like this:

This 1910 classic provides helpful information, such as what to do if you’ve accidentally married an inefficient man for love. Foolish girl.

And then there’s this:

This fabulous 1832 book will help you to treat dysentery, educate one’s daughters, and prepare buffalo tongue.

Both are free books. It’s all I can do not to click “Buy now”.