Sick & Tired

Ugh, I'm tired.  I've got a cold that's been on the cusp for a few days.  I think I caught it early enough that it's not developing into a full blown cold, but I'm just hovering on that line where I'm tired and achy and blah and not quite right.  Okay, so maybe I've been "not quite right" for a while, but you know what I mean.

Somewhere in the middle of this feeling, Saturday evening, I banned the kids from playing video games for a week.  The constant arguing is driving me insane.  And then they start hitting or not hitting each other, depending on who is talking, i.e. "He hit me!" "No, I didn't, she kicked me!" "No, I didn't!"  ENOUGH.

Yesterday was the first full day of no video games and it went fine.  Sadly for them, I think we're on to something here.

So here's my new complaint.  I am SO SO SO tired of fighting with them to do stuff that they volunteered to do.  Like Science Club, band, Scouts, etc.  The science fair is not mandatory this year I guess, but 4th through 6th graders could join this club after school on Tuesdays and still have a science fair.  Both my kids wanted to do it.  Jacob went on Tuesday, since Sara was at the dentist, and got the information and brought it home.  They had to read a couple pages in this packet and fill out some worksheets.  But would either of them do it?  No. 

And will Jacob practice his trumpet?  No. Because most of the band kids are beginners and he's not, so "I don't need to practice that stuff, Mom." 

Will Jacob read his Scout book to complete some more stuff he needs to advance?  No. Because it's boring.

So this is what I told them last night, while I was high on cold medicine and just tired of all of it.

"These are all things you guys WANTED to do.  Nobody is forcing you to do them.  I take time out of my life to drive you to band, and to scouts, and to pick you up from Science Club, and I am happy to do it.  But if you're not going to do what you are expected to do, it's not worth my time and gas.  So if you don't practice your trumpet, I'm not taking you to band and we'll return the trumpet and save ourselves $30 a month.  And if you won't do your Science Club work, then you will quit.  And when you go to Scouts and they ask you why you haven't worked on this stuff, you can tell them you don't want to and then we won't drive you to Scouts anymore.  It doesn't matter to me anymore and I'm not going to drive myself crazy making you do the work.  Because I AM DONE."

Well, the Science Club work got done.  And Jacob may have read his Scout book, but I don't know for sure.  I know there was no trumpet practice. 

Was that too hard a line?  I don't know and honestly, don't care.  He's 11 and he wants to do this stuff.  The Scout stuff is way different, because now he's a Boy Scout and the boys are expected to take responsibility for their own advancement.  It's not troop driven anymore, it's boy driven.  And if the boy is lazy and only wants to play video games, then he won't succeed.  But it's not up to the leaders to take him by the hand and drag him through it.  Mitch and I will help him as much as we can, as long as he's willing to do the work.  But I will not try to force him to do it.  Because trying to force Jacob to do anything is pointless.  The harder you try, the more he resists.  I can bang my head against the wall on my own time over my own issues, thank you very much.

And it's not all Jacob.  Sara just usually caves much easier.  We went through something very much like this with Sara over softball.  Complain, whine, moan.  We made it through that season, but the next year when she wanted to play again we had a similar conversation.  You complain about going to practice or games and you won't go.  Ever.  Again.  And she didn't complain last season. 

They can complain all they want about school and homework.  They still have to do it and I still have to make them.  I'm good with that.  But all this extra stuff?  No thanks.